return to Canadia

so i finally came back to Canada.
flight was actually pretty quick and easy. obviously got sent to the special section to get my bag searched in Canada...which is becoming a normality..they wrote r 76 on my page...someone told me thats a percentage of your risk...so im 76% maybe...thats not bad...they were a bit miffed by me not having a job or house and only having 9 dollars..thats normal right?
those motherfuckers make me nervous, but i guess they had to let me in.

being in Canada is not so so bad. i never get this culture shock that everybody talks about. the only bizarre thing is walking around in the suburbs of Barrie where it appears im in a ghost town..but then again i always thought the suburbs were shitty.

i wish i was warmer, but its not so bad and its nice to see my people again.
i can feel my knowledge of the spanish language falling faster than my parents' mutual funds
and ive been looking at jobs realizing that im not qualified for anything..
anything.
its all good though.
i've been enjoying the luxuries of canadia such as hot water, consistent electricity and peanut butter..been getting smoked under the table by my chronic friends....

things learned on the trip
1)determination is more important than diet
2)im a basketball superstar...
3)pay the premium for good alcohol
4)don't trust peope with gold teeth...or people without pockets
5)if you think you know a lot, your probably just an asshole

peace!

colin w blacoe

i knew it was going to be a bad day when i woke up to cher

i got electricuted.

ive been using this deep-dish-hot-plate type deal. you plug it in and its got a rod you insert into the bottem of the pan with a dial to control the temperature.. you know what i mean?

after lunch i took the rod out, cleaned the pan and went out for a jaunt. it just so happened i left the rod not touching but pointing at a can of beans i intended to use later on. later in the day i went over for that can of beans, and i cant quite remember if i actually picked it up or not but in a flash it was on the floor. in through my finger tips and out my right foot, my leg began to rise and shake like a dog would after peeing. afterwards, my heart was racing and my entire body had the sensation you get after hitting your funny bone.
my scientific hypothesis is that the rod (still plugged in but turned off) was zapping super electricity into my can of beans all day. genious.

here i am trying to be all yogi in this secluded apartment and i get electricuted by a can of beans. i am taking this as a sign and departing for the caribean coast tomorrow morning.