moving on

this was colin and i five months ago, ridding our lives of everything.

yesturday, i observed the landscape through an airplane window. the colours changed from greens to greysandwhite. i'm home now, it's cold and my dog is old. likewise, i have acquired some wrinkles myself on this trip. it was everything you would expect me to say, so here's some random things i can share with you.

1. if you're doing america, do it by car.
2. learn spanish.

top places in no particular order:
1. puerto escondito, mexico
2. lanquin, guatemala
3. puerto viejo, costa rica
4. sunzal beach, el salvidore
5. isle de ometepe and san juan del sur, nicaragua
6. San Fransisco, duh

neat-o careers of people i have met:
1. self employed gum ball machine distributor.
2. nyc emergency situation controller
3. factory production revolutionist
4. 10 year traveler
5. professional sand sculpture artist
6. linguistics prodigy

touching survival stories:
- first hand account of the thailand tsunami disaster of 2004
- botched kidnapping attempt

and that's it. thanks for reading this blog. seriously.

casco viejo and steps on the hill

--based on true events.

the sun broke through an open window this morning and seared my skin. uncontested, i rose to my feet and put on some levis and a white button down shirt. from there, i reached for the kitchen. pancake batter covered bananas were on the menu - a self-made recipe.

out the door and into the street, i look both ways and head into the jungle. i give my change to the poor and my bills to the rich. i drink a bad coffee in the park and watch a woman get slapped and thrown into a car door. noone does anything so i walk the other way. a pigeon shits on me off an over-hang. "its karma," i say to myself, "i should have shield my eyes.

i hop on a bus with nowhere to go and end up in the industries. it's a desolate part of town, cars wizz by and skin my teeth. by 11am i'm hungry again. i step into the nearest kitchen, full of grit, grime and poverty. it smells good in here.

i must have ate a bad borrrito because upon my return home, i'm glued to the porcelain. i imagine my ass hair curling over like a-thousand happy hands griping the dried piss from the seven last men - like mustard layed on thick, it sticks.

wet-paper-bag stomach, night falls and i head to the bar.
"a beer!," a good-for-nothing demands, slamming his fist into the wooden counter-top, sticky and puddles. "a beer!," again. the bartender succumbs with an awkward smile. not twenty minutes later and a fight breaks loose round' back. blood and scurvy. a man is left for dead on the tile with a broken bottle in his hand. i look over my shoulder and take another drink.

it's panama city.

no boundaries in drip drop ville

for the past few days i've been hangn' out with some cool girls from cali.
we went to a national park and hiked around the jungle. a monkey threw a fairly large branch at us. we got lost. against my advice, one girl climbed a power-tower. they made me lunch. i found a long hair in my mouth.

we ate at an even better vegetarian restaurant than the one previously stated back in november. in general, panama city food is cheap, large portioned and moreorless good. 30cent freshly squeezed anything. 1.50$ plates for lunch and dinner. 40cent icecream. and all the pancakes i can eat in the morning. buttt, im officially over pancakes now.

in the best news, i learned how to crochet. i can't put it down. im cookn' up some warm gear for that rediculus -16 weather back at home. i really can't believe that's going on.

home in 3 more days.

listen to your stomach

pizza, sandwiches, milkshakes, fishmarkets, sundaes, pinnaple juice, grime shops and malls.

48 hours with nicole kelly.
------------------------
.. an old man promoting his everything-type store announces to the street,
"hey mr., buy your wife some sandels."

bocas to panama city and carnival

crossing the boarder into panama was literally a walk over a bridge (with gaps to fall to your death). nice.

after that was over with I headed over to bocas del toro, possibly the most popular beach town in panama. this place has received a lot of hype from fellow travelers but did not live up to my expectations. on the plus side i bumped into a friend i met a few weeks back, bocas local, carol. she took me in and prepared a delicious chicken dinner for us. mmm chicken.
also,
carnival is going down (more on this later). this is the largest celebration of the year for panama, and comes second to rio, brazil for intensity. i think the idea here is drink for 5 days straight, resting from 4 till 8am daily. beyond drinks, there*s a lot of music, water cannons, and monster costumes who lerk the streets whipping people... "it*s tradition."

on the second day in bocas, complications had ursina and myself out of accommodation. through a stroke of kind-heartedness another local, joshua, took us in for the night. he even weaved me a super headband in under an hour.

--side story--
i have repeatedly seen this couple throughout my trip. first time in northern mexico, a few times through the next 3 countries and finally in bocas. i screeched my bike to a hault infront of them while they were trying to cross a road and explained the situation. they loved it and took me out for a drink.
------------

due to ursina*s flight back to the states in a few days, we opted to head for panama city in class, by plane! trying to be a little more gucci, i sipped on scotch and smoked long cigarettes while listening to the course hum of the 40 passenger mini, completely satisfied with the idea of skipping 15 hours of boat and bus travel. still, i feel a great accomplishment making it from van to pan city by bus (with a small cheat..). i will live out the rest of my days here in panama city until my flight home and hopefully rendezvous with and old friend from mexico, ms. puerto escondido bikini contest winner, nicole kelly.

>>>>> fast forward a few hours..
and so i did, nicole is here and the last day of carnival is here, which was absolute madness compared to bocas. millions of people strong, it was all about confetti and throwing it in little kids faces. ha

life is hard sometimes..

recovering from an injury is hard,
especially when you have beautiful woman from around the globe feeding you grapes on the vine.

the spot i am in has arguably been the best to date.
a few days in puerto viejo turned into 11 and i have finally mustered enough travel energy to leave this vortex; massive collaborative dinners and breakfasts-zs have left me a greasy/sandy beach blob.

and the people i have met here have been top dollar. one of which i will continue onto panama with - swedish ursina. its 'carnival' this weekend, so things might be a bit twanky over there.

last night we had an ugly fire. instead of small twigs, we kicked it off with a bottle of lighter fluid - yikes! almost lost my eyebrows.

tales from the crypt

last night, a crew of us from the hostel went to check out 'ladies' night. going into this, i knew that 'ladies' night really meant 'man's' night, fueled by testosterone and the perpetual fight to procreate. and fight they did. bar fight!! a local mashed another one's head with a beer bottle, and i received the shrapnel. covered in blood, the club cleared out into the street. and upon further review, some bystanders pointed out to me that i was bleeding from the neck and the hand.

another night in the clinic, 2 internal and 4 external stitches later and i'm back on the streets.
i had a small army of friends with me, i'm on the drugs and everything is fine. it's good to be a sailor.

all good things come to an end.

(poison dart frog)

got my flight booked for the first week of march outa panama city.

i'v just been kickin' it in puerto viejo.

life without colin b

here i am, the caribbean coast. it's warm, i can see the ocean, i am consuming mangoes like they're going out of style. for me, the best part about this place is the large population of rastas. there's one guy in particular who slowly walks around town with a cane trailing behind him. as we approach he says something inaudible. i reply with a "boi!," or a "YAhchh," like raekwon would, and we laugh and he likes it.

this morning i went to an organic farmers market where i purchased some tastey treats
and
afterwards i attended a free yoga workshop. most of my energy went to containing my laughter while the class hummed like 'bumblebees' during a breathing excercise. "go from high to low - high to low..." this was almost as funny as the time i let a lawnmower of a fart off against the wooden floor in one of my jasper sessions.

soo conversational spanish is slipping because everyone speaks english around here and i didnt open my mouth for 5 straight days in san jose. however, my reading is stronger than ever because im surrounded by spanish popular mechanics magazines and newspapers.

here's a picture of my new tattoo (sorry mom). i got it in the back of a surfshop for cheap. it was a good move because the entire town stopped by to check it out. get a tattoo, meet the world.

happy v-day

return to Canadia

so i finally came back to Canada.
flight was actually pretty quick and easy. obviously got sent to the special section to get my bag searched in Canada...which is becoming a normality..they wrote r 76 on my page...someone told me thats a percentage of your risk...so im 76% maybe...thats not bad...they were a bit miffed by me not having a job or house and only having 9 dollars..thats normal right?
those motherfuckers make me nervous, but i guess they had to let me in.

being in Canada is not so so bad. i never get this culture shock that everybody talks about. the only bizarre thing is walking around in the suburbs of Barrie where it appears im in a ghost town..but then again i always thought the suburbs were shitty.

i wish i was warmer, but its not so bad and its nice to see my people again.
i can feel my knowledge of the spanish language falling faster than my parents' mutual funds
and ive been looking at jobs realizing that im not qualified for anything..
anything.
its all good though.
i've been enjoying the luxuries of canadia such as hot water, consistent electricity and peanut butter..been getting smoked under the table by my chronic friends....

things learned on the trip
1)determination is more important than diet
2)im a basketball superstar...
3)pay the premium for good alcohol
4)don't trust peope with gold teeth...or people without pockets
5)if you think you know a lot, your probably just an asshole

peace!

colin w blacoe

i knew it was going to be a bad day when i woke up to cher

i got electricuted.

ive been using this deep-dish-hot-plate type deal. you plug it in and its got a rod you insert into the bottem of the pan with a dial to control the temperature.. you know what i mean?

after lunch i took the rod out, cleaned the pan and went out for a jaunt. it just so happened i left the rod not touching but pointing at a can of beans i intended to use later on. later in the day i went over for that can of beans, and i cant quite remember if i actually picked it up or not but in a flash it was on the floor. in through my finger tips and out my right foot, my leg began to rise and shake like a dog would after peeing. afterwards, my heart was racing and my entire body had the sensation you get after hitting your funny bone.
my scientific hypothesis is that the rod (still plugged in but turned off) was zapping super electricity into my can of beans all day. genious.

here i am trying to be all yogi in this secluded apartment and i get electricuted by a can of beans. i am taking this as a sign and departing for the caribean coast tomorrow morning.

the last time we met was 12 years ago.

i have been locked away in the mountains for too long. last night the bouncing souls killed it. the oi´s, the high fists, the sweat, the smell and all those memorable songs from the 90´s. it´s all coming back to me. the white lights, i´m drenched in beer, my lungs, the smoke, i can´t breath.

surrounded by the spanish, for an hour and a half the band converted them to english in a 4 count. the crowd sang so loud i could hardly hear the band. it was wierd like that. music is the real universal language. 20 years of history was laid out infront of my eyes - from gutter punks to international fame. it was nice to see.

i hate work

for we hate work s final night we went out for beers and bailys. we talked past, we talked future, we talked politics. tears were shed. goodbye old friend.

colin is gone. mat is gone. i am alone in the city. i watched the hills last night - whoa drama.. bouncing souls tomorrow. i think colin is going to do an ender blog.

plans: no plans.

desayuno y bye-bye

a thom berry idea

here's a rough track of our trip from start to finish - about 8,000km.

_____________________

and another idea,
we were thinking that we would commit to the americas and never step foot across the oceans for the rest of our lives.

plans for an east coast tour will commence in 2012.

feb 2nd part 2

-10:55am
jon eats cereal.

grand slam and the weak bowl

nadal takes his 6th grand slam title and the cardinals suffer a devastating loss - two great games in fact.
however, yesturday we both fell asleep at around 530 in the am, and missed the final 2 sets. this was upsetting.

later in the morning, we short circuited an entire suburban block by taking 3 hot showers in a row.* san jose is modern, but apparently still needs some work.

and,
we're pretty darn connected these days in mat's apartment.. we got satalite tv, internet and all that other fun stuff, so if you like us, maybe we can chat on the interweb soon. colin will be here until the 6th and i will be here until the 9th for a bouncing souls 20th anniversary show. this was one of my favourite bands in highschool, so it's going to be a pleasure to see them down here in the latino americas.


* yesturday's hot shower marks the first since mid october in SF - it was an interesting sensation that i havent felt in a long time.
but,
just for the record, in hot tempertures i would prefer a cold. hot showers are overrated down here.

the festival

we sit and observe the australian open final at 4:29am.
40-15 federer / 4-3 in the second. nadal up one match.

prior to san jose we reserved two seats in a private shuttle. the destination: "a festival." on this night, as planned, we took the shuttle to the festival. it was indeed a festival. similar to the Ex in toronto, the festival had rides, games, food and people. the only significant differences were: more beer, more meat, more clubs (of the dancing sort), and more stilettos. we spent the majority of our time at the bumpercars. i think the cars might be juiced up a little down here because a little girl got knocked out of one and possibly got crushed. she caused a big traffic jam that i couldnt get out of and that really pissed me off (she came out o.k.).

meat sticks were a dollar, so mat and i consumed a number of those.
i also ate: chocolate covered strawberries, 2 pieces of pizza, cotton candy and ice cream.

i really hate it when YMCA comes on, and what i hate more is when people do that dance to it. unnecessary. is that how you spell that?

i dont trust people with gold teeth

so we've been hainging in san juan del sur. you know, living the surfer life, brah.
this place was recommended to us by none other owen wilson (jons hero)...also rayce darlington bigged it up.
its kinda turisty..but good, and not expensive like everyone says. we rented a little room/apartment for 6 dollars a night from a cool ass lady named 'mama sera'..we had a balcony which we sat on a lot and enjoyed the wind. and rum.
the milkshakes were spectacular and cheap. they had real coffee.
or if you want, you can just sit on the beach and watch girls get stung by jellyfish.

for our last night, we went to a bar with live music. while there, we played a danish drinking game with a swedish poker master and some norwegian anarchists. the game was stupid and terrible but it worked.
i ended up playing with crabs and a swedish girl on the beach.
jon ended up talking to a spanish sand artist.

today we endured a 12 hour trip from south nicaragua to san jose, costa rica.
our bus was stopped three times in the first hour, by policia looking for illegal nicaraguans. stupid. as if suddenly nicaraguans are going to appear on the bus after the first check. but when have cops ever been intelligent?

also some motherfucker was farting the whole trip. we think he was at the front of the bus cause you could see effects ripple down the bus. people would successively start covering up and opening the windows as it faded back. so youve got the option of farts in the bus or burining garbage outside. both bad.

we made it here to san jose. paid too much for a cab, but we;re chillin with our boy matt in his apartment.
getting ready for the big match on sunday. our boy nadal is gonna kill it!

*the title of this blog has to do with the fact that down here its very common that people have gold or silver (not real) teeth/fillings whatever.
so whenever people smile at me they have this mouth full of goldish silver. and something about that makes me not trust them or think theyre sneaky bastards.

ps. im coming home on thursday, feb 5th.
need a place to sleep that night.
holla at me.\

food and other things

we accidently set course for san juan del sur due to a financial situation.
during travel and confusion i forgot it was my bday. after confirmation we splurged at the bakery and ate large quantities of cookies.
we gota hella´cheap/rad hotel (shown below) and we´re dippin´in 2 days for san jose to meet up with mat again.